TURKISH CRYSTALS

signs of rock bottom:

2012-01-24T23:31:00.000-08:00

getting kfc with your mum
going on chatroulette
wearing heaps of perfume
walking into a bus stop because you're not watching where you are going due to fishing a chocolate bar out of your backpack (actually happened)
shotgunning double browns
having entire conversations with your cat and feeling like you've had a satisfying amount of social interaction for the day
watching x-factor australia, religiously

concise mystery

2012-01-24T02:47:00.000-08:00

i had my first real grown-up job interview the other day. i mean, don't get me wrong, i guess i had a job interview for my shitty retail job, but whatever, that doesn't count.

i've actually been real slack since finishing honours and have spent heaps of time wallowing around at home, being sad about dudes and sad about what my life has become and sad that i am 23 and still haven't really achieved anything (apart from my shitty arts degree). also got real down about my grades (weren't that bad, still impressive i guess. but i know i could have done way way wayyy better).

also, pretty bummed i have never really achieved anything ~creative~. i don't really have any creative pursuits though, so i dunno why i should be getting bummed about having no creative achievements. although, in the bleakest stage of my post-honours-unemployment-lethargy i started writing a sitcom. i stopped writing it though because it really wasn't funny at all and was extremely self indulgent. it was really depressing actually. i had a working title of "my plague of apathy", which really isn't a clever or appealing name at all.
ugh, anyway. enough of that shit. so yeah, i was wallowing around a lot. then i started walking to the new central library everyday to use the wifi/apply for jobs. i only summoned enough energy to apply for one job however. despite people being like, "ohhh, you're applying for jobs? oh honey, get ready for a lot of rejection. you know people apply for like, 200 jobs once they finish uni right? yeah. it's terrible". just real patronising and shit.

i applied for one job and then forgot about it. then before i knew it i was up in wellington, wearing this horrible striped shirt and black pencil shirt with my hair tied back in this really tight horrible bun, espousing all this shit about what a great logical worker i am and my amazin' customer service philosophies. i dunno. i talked a whole heap of shit in this interview. and tomorrow i get to find out whether it paid off or not!

not sure if i should keep maintaining this blog though. i mean, if i am about to embark upon an "exciting" career in the public sector, should i really be keeping an angsty chick blog? all i really want to do is start a blog about dating and relationships. super cynthia heimel like. it's already been done though probably. and let's face it, my love life really isn't intriguing enough to a) have any interesting content, and b) not inspiring enough to be able to write real good inspiring funny anecdotes and advice about ~love~. dunno if thats the type of thing public servant ladies should be pursuing however. might just completely tune out of "real life" for a year, become a corporate whore and save heaps of money.

what have i become

stunning loving humming living

2012-01-17T00:15:00.000-08:00

i have to say, 2011 was "one hell of a year". like, don't think i have ever had such a tumultuous personal life and ever had to listen to so much sinead o'connor in my life. also, honours was the biggest waste of time and money and made me feel like shit a lot. today i am pretty sure i hit rock bottom for actual. i was walking down my street and walked into a bus stop because i was too busy trying to get a chocolate bar out of my bag. yeah, seriously. it's okay though, because i am apprehensively pumped for 2012!

dry your eyes m8

2011-12-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

today something pretty shitty happened but it was for the best. didn't know how to respond to the situation without totally angsting out and getting all weepy and retarded. made a cheeseplatter with my bff and that was pretty good. kind of cut and ate a bit of cheese that was way too big and then got nauseous. then my mum took me shopping for cat toys and let me order some self help, all men are d-bags type books with her credit card. best mum ever.

to all the jerks, fuck you!!!

(guess i am angsting out a bit. whatever)

eff

2011-12-03T21:00:00.000-08:00

really hate this year. pretty much everything i assumed was going to happen didn't happen. and i am sufficiently heartbroken about that. i really don't know what to do for the next couple of months and it's kind of driving me insane. i mean, i should probably just do something about it right? but i am pretty accustomed to things just ~falling in my lap~, which i guess now at age 23 is wearing a bit thin. i really just need to write more, run more and read more. i feel like if i did these 3 things often i would be pretty happy. but i don't know. i should probably talk to people more often too. and not get hung up on dudes. yeah the getting hung up on dudes thing is probably my main problem. real life is so tricky!

hola! gurl!

2011-11-17T01:06:00.000-08:00

bought these five books today. also my hair is real long and ratty. kind of want to go blonde but also like this long ratty badly dyed thing i am going for. but whatever, all i really want to do is just hang out with all the cats. all of them.

(a lilac burmese! <333333)

note: none of those cats were keen for photobooth snaps. assholes

2011-10-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

as per usual, i am:

crying a lot
eating my feelings a lot
getting average to good grades
being real messy
fapfapfapfap
h8
errthang

take two white gold earrings for your troubles, man

2011-09-29T18:48:00.000-07:00

sometimes the only pleasures i get in life revolve around snacks from the garage. discovered that a bounty bar and pineapple fruju complement one another pretty well. like a pine colada or something but without the alcohol/liquidness.

somehow addicted to google image searching israel dagg. i mean, sure he is a total meatsack who think's he is clever by having some lame as hand gesture but oh man, so handsome. might just start some really fucked up israel dagg fan blog. or a tumblr. having a crush on an all black is probably the most patriotic thing i have ever done. yeeeeah boi.

thoughts:

2011-09-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

i'm married to the hustle so fuck what you hear
this year i have learnt that there are many things you can't quantify purely through money but they do cost money when you think about it. what am i talking about? i don't know
super juice is pretty good. i think it gives me more energy than a coffee + no-doz combo
wax. seriously. wax
nail polish. seriously. nail polish.
wish i went to a really prestigious college.
but actually not really. can barely handle the pressure i endure at everyones favourite backwater university. (sorry UC)

don't don't don't don't

2011-09-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

FUCK some shit can be awkward. i am applying "theoretical constructs" poorly and terribly whilst listening to a playlist i made to listen to whilst i sat in a luke warm bath crying about breaking up with my boyfriend. ugh. i am a shitty person and honours and earthquakes culminated together perfectly to succeed in completely ruining my life. i have acne and huge creases on my face now. don't even get me started on my morals and my inner wellbeing.

questions

2011-09-21T22:41:00.000-07:00

1. whats the best way to tell somebody they're a chodey asshole piece of shit?
2. whats the best way to get first class honours without completely burning out and wanting to kill yourself?
3. whats the best way to eat hot chips every day and not get fat that doesn't involve bulimia or exercise?

seed pods

2011-09-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

this is how i felt walking into class today. only sans the actual values that emma stones character possessed and i have heaps more work to do. [work as in like, actual school work, not anything sluz related]

2011-08-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

meant to be handing in my dissertation draft (midnite dedlyne) but it's nowhere near finished and i want to go watch movies so i think i'm just going to submit that shit and hope for the best. initially i wanted to look at how counter terrorism policies and sweet minerals messed with the implementation of peace agreements for civil conflicts in africa but my supervisor told me that such analogies only existed in my head and i'd really let myself down. so awkward. hate academia. now i'm just comparing mandates and whether militias get included in peace agreements enough. kind of wish i had more interesting academic pursuits rather than war and suffering. mostly just suffering.

you act like a slut but you're really a freezer.

2011-08-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

seriously in love with trotsky. feel like if i was a cat i would be all chubby and mongrel and yowly and always peckish and sleepy and curious and hostile and shy but sometimes affectionate just like she is.

the publishers can not be liable

2011-08-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

good news:

1. moral bankruptcy
2. whole new levels of procrastination
3. my favourite coat is this perfect camel colour
4. my cat is real grimey
5. i am in love with my hair

women

2011-08-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

and life is really weird at the moment. I mean I guess it kind of always is because whenever something happens it's usually pretty novel. University is real hard and in a weeks time I would have semi finished my dissertation. only I don't know how that is going to happen because at this point in time I have a problem with narrowing down what I actually want to say. and some main theoretical components keep fucking with me. but it's okay, at least this year i have learnt that:

a) theres always suicide
b) theres always marriage
c) god might exist
d) i am better than i thought at the ~art of seduction~
e) nobody actually fucking cares about politics (neither do i)
f) major seismic events will fuck with your dreams forever (actual)

hoppin' up and down

2011-08-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

basically all i want is my dissertation to be finished and it to be summer and to have like 3 boyfriends or something. i just have that much love to give.some kind of holy trinity of boys. nah jokes i am a spinster hag for life. i said the following in an email:

"btw my life as a ~single lady~ is much more enjoyable than i thought it would be. basically all i do now is sit around in flannelette pyjamas and/or tracksuits and watch tv and eat biscuits and paint my nails... you know, the finer things in life".

moral hazards

2011-08-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

guess all i can do sometimes is eat cheese crackers and think about males and how i kind of hate them but probably not enough to write them out of my life. if only. when i finish honours i am running away to hawaii. and i don't even care how flakey and pipe dreamy that is. i just want to communicate with people by using quotes from closer.

"you've ruined my life"

shit thats awkward

2011-07-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

trying to talk about anything remotely academic in class and accidentally saying "shit" or "like". on thursday i have to present a paper called "Corporate citizenship? Elites, labor, and the geographies of work in Guatemala" and I am kind of shitting bricks about it.
showing senile old ladies that come in to work where the thermals are and having to explain to them that there is a difference between childrens, womens and mens thermals and each have respective sizes. idk, old people are weird and i am shy.
break-ups :( :( :( :( :(
parallel parking.
sleeping alone
sitting at home at 11pm on a saturday night reminiscing what seems like my old life now
emailing somebody back when i have nothing to say.
cat poo
eyebrows
http://www.sethgodin.com/freeprize/reallybad-1.pdf
tears
emotions
death
periods

eerie, christchurch

2011-07-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

had a pretty strange week and a half. i wish emotions (especially mine) weren't so fucking complex

also, flaking out of honours pretty quickly. i feel like a piece of shit! i just want academic integrity but my body wants laziness and lethargy. hrmphh

~~~can't take my mind off of u~

2011-07-04T16:32:00.000-07:00

relived my favouite hobby of taking screenshots from films. i watched closer last week. it was pretty good but also annoyed me a lot.

anyway. took some good screen shots.

i want to start a tumblr that is "jude law saying deep shit in films"

clive owen is kind of a psycho.

so pretty.

tried to find a moment where natalie portman looked ugly but it was impossible. another good tumblr could be "natalie portman looking real blazed in films"

i've never really understood the appeal of julia roberts but she looks really beautiful here.

and jude law looks really baked here.

floored / not flawed

2011-06-28T22:11:00.000-07:00

the only way to channel my complex emotional problems is to just make enigmatic blog entries.

right now is no exception.

...

NAH JOKES

(actually have lost all post teen angry girl writing style and can only write like a political scientist now)

sometimes i feel like you know every single one of my secrets and you're just waiting to reveal them to everybody so i'll just die a little bit more inside

2011-06-26T16:46:00.000-07:00

all this essay writing has just made me want to write funny essays for pleasure. last year i was going to write an essay for mass coms about the untimely death of moko the dolphin and how heaps of news outlets freaked out and made a big fucking deal about it. i still want to write it but also write about 'happy feet' the penguin. just btw, happy feet is such a lame name. should have called him jonah lomu or something. that would have been way cooler and evoked way more ~nz pride~. jonah lomu would probably eat sand, given the chance. anyway, the new zealand media's love affair with anthropomorphising animals in tabloid outlets is pretty rife and probably deserves heaps of academic attention. i mean, did anybody see that thing on tv1 a few months ago about the lady making a documentary about moko and it showed some hag in the ocean getting supposedly got "humped" by moko and everybody was all, omg, moko is such a minx. yeah theres a word for letting an animal humping you.

houses i am glad i don't live in

2011-06-20T15:59:00.000-07:00

christchurch rules!

don't worry, i still hate everything about everything

2011-06-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

made summer plans that i feel real good about. also, a man at work went on a tirade about the "overt sexualisation of children" courtesy of risque underwear. wtf? i don't know!

wrote some poetry the other day whilst watching tv. first time i've written poetry "for pleasure":

untitled #1

"i'm a soldier thats why i said yes chef"

some blue diners have had to watch red diners start their meals

because a blue chef over salted the soup and so chef ramsay

spat in it

then he called a customer a dog

because she returned her starter

things gordon ramsay said in the span of 2 minutes:

"what? you cooked them in the cream for an hour?"

"it looks like a school dinner!"

"i wouldn't serve that to a pig farm"

"you're looking a bit loopy you stupid cow"

gordon ramsay is a fucking dick

untitled #2

listening to

itunes with the tv on

is quite

grating

but sometimes it sounds alright

doofell

2011-06-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

made some major changes to my ~thesis~ without informing my supervisor and now i am too scared to hand in what i've done in case he is like "what the fuck. seriously what the fuck. are you an actual retard or something?" because that would be TERRIBLE! oh well. in like 5 months i will be free from university forever ( i think i say this every year) but for actual reals this time. not really sure what i am going to be qualified to do though so i might just go on the dole. all i really want to do is be a writer. or have some kind of government job that doesn't involve much work but lots of moneys + travel. would i have to give up blogging if i got a cool government job? do you have to "sell out" to "make it" in this world? fuck.

oh na na na

2011-06-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

i don't know whether this was a really bad idea or not. prove me wrong (or right?)

MADE A FORMSPRING

have no fear

2011-05-06T21:42:00.000-07:00

tried to dye my hair blonde but instead it went lindsay lohan mean girls orange. guess thats okay though. finally starting to feel like i have beautiful hair and just want to touch it all the time and run down beaches and swish it around

uh anyway. really loving university. i was pretty apprehensive about enrolling myself in a bunch of honours level political science classes when all i'd done at undergrad was a whole lot of mass communication and english courses but i think it's really working out for the best. i am writing a thesis on intra state peacekeeping in africa which may or may not be the broadest topic ever but whatever, going to nail that shit. also going to write an essay about human freedom and ~the market~ PLUS a cool essay about anthrax (not the band, the biological weapon). people complain that political science is dry and boring but guess what, i'm pretty dry and boring too so it is basically a match made in heaven

lacking precise definition

2011-04-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

honours is ruling my life at the moment. i want to make a fake blog with fake ideas for the quake rebuild. i know this is counter productive for both my time and the quake rebuild but hey, i am all about the irony/being a jerk.

IDEAS:

you know how theres no longer a fast food hub ie. colombo st's mcd's, kfc, bk, wendys around the corner cbd shit? okay, turn each corner of papanui road/victoria street/bealey ave intersection into sweet fast food hub. take out the traffic lights and install a roundabout with 4 lanes, each lane corresponding to the fast food destination of choice. oh yeah probably need to get rid of the knox church ruins first, maybe just convert it into a wendys? keep the nice church framing. put up heaps of glass. people will love it, especially gerry brownlee.
turn the grand chancellor into projects. maybe something like this

sorry. kind of inappropriate/too soon.

fux academia

2011-04-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

writing my research proposal and trying to use all kinds of nice, intelligent words and structure it so i can feign some sort of academic prowess but pretty sure my supervisor is going to read it and think, "who is this skanky douche trying to fool?".

2011-04-10T00:17:00.000-07:00

today my parents got disapointed with me and it sucked. i feel like a below average teenager all the time. just realised 7th form was 6 years ago, lawl fml

slut palace

2011-03-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

i don't understand blogging anymore. infact, i think i hate it?

maybe? am i too old and apathetic for blogging now? also see, boring. seriously i think i managed to ruin my life a bit last year by shutting a whole lots of life out of my life by purely focusing on university and working. i guess this has worked out well for my finances and grades but in terms of other things - probably not so much and have become 500% more boring. oh hey but just need hobbies. too bad clubs day at uni has already been (LOL FML JK)

anyway! life is kind of getting back to normal. moving into a glamorous new flat this weekend which is complete with a park bench, nice rugs and a heat pump. we can't go wrong. plus the lounge is huge and has some serious 1990's divorcee chic vibes,

dunno how you are meant to arrange furniture around pillars though. maybe just weave fairylights round them? pretend they're not there? poledance? could probably just host a mean as rave in there, especially with all that indoor/outdoor ~flow~ that shit is purrrfect.

hell yeah

2011-03-07T23:04:00.000-08:00

nanny 911

2011-02-28T16:38:00.000-08:00

the earthquake sucked. everything is a blur and all i can do is get angry about inane things like assholes gloating about how drunk they've been getting following the ~event~. sorry, glad you're having fun and all but some of us are too busy crying at home and stressing about that impending red sticker. and i wish people would put their fucking cameras away. guess i should cap the rage, i mean you never know when you're going to get crushed by a brick wall or you're going to be lying on a stretcher with a shattered spine or lying in hospital wondering what you're height is now that you have no legs. i've done heaps of good cooking though. like, real good. guess i didn't realise how psychological this whole thing has been until i clicked "new post" and started typing. but seriously, some people can actually "go fuck themselves". i hate everything. but then again, i love christchurch.

tree technicians

2011-02-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

i got a surprise day off from work courtesy of postie plus being cunts about the amount of leave i've accrued. i got angry at first because i'll take any excuse to to accuse the company sheisting me. but now i am enjoying my day off, it has so far been excellent. i haven't actually had a day free of having to do anything in ages. that is shit, i never realised that becoming an adult meant having no free time ever. i really want to bike around woolston and take photos. i mean it's a damn good suburb for all the wrong reasons. it's pretty visual and that's it. thats all it is. there's no community, just the odd sideward glance from a tranvestite next door named 'tia'.

i need a haircut

NRG

2011-01-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

pretty "stoked on lyfe" for the first time in ages. hope this is for real and not just a festering mental illness. my job still sucks but i'm going back to university soon! which could be terrible but hey, no negative thoughts. JUST GOOD ONES.

currently just chilling out on grooveshark listening to keri hilson remixes. you could say, "wtf" but i prefer, "yeah, wanna fight about it?"

HELLLLO JESUS! i mean, kanye

2011-01-16T22:51:00.000-08:00

oh god so pretty much never update anymore. not that there was ever a huge ammount of posting on this thing to begin with. but hey whatever, i swear i've changed. i want to commit myself to updating more because hey, blogging is never a bad thing. well, actually i guess it can get you into some hot water some time (i mean, a lot of the time) but hey, you know what. fuck the haters. i wrote "heaters" instead of "haters" by mistkae which is reasonably apt i guess considering the weather lately. so yeah, fuck the heaters too.

uh, anyway.

trying to figure out what to write my honours thesis on and it's prooving difficult. i mean, i don't even know where my research interests lie. and i don't want to choose a topic that i'm going to grow to fucking hate with a passion but uh, i guess thats a given no matter what i decide?

uh, anyway.

at the start of the holidays i scrawled this quick list of everything i wanted to achieve this summer but hey guess what, haven't achieved much of it at all. in fact, nothing. all i find myself doing is working, which is shit because who the fuck gets anything out of working 30+ hours a week at a shitty retail chain situated in a dead mall. well, you' be surprised. the other day i took my bike out for a spin, listened to heaps of curren$y and actually felt like i was celebrating the summer properly.

need to:

assuming people have awesome lives no matter how shitty thier facebook photos are. am i the only one that feels this mediocre? answer = probably.

and lastly, just got to face the fact that i'm not a cute teen anymore who can base her self worth of a pair of checkerboard vans and meeting cute cats. fml!!!!

brunomarsflo-ridake$hakatyperrybubleblackeyedpeaskanyewest

2010-11-23T04:35:00.000-08:00

now that i have an income i have kind of become a vapid bitch. i can't get enough make-up/clothes/dumb girl shit.

but today i went to heaps of expensive stores, couldn't find anything amazing so i was like, fuck this shit i'm going to valley girl! then i went to valley girl, didn't find anything and was like, fuck this shit i'm going to mcdonalds! went to mcdonalds, ate some chips/drank some flat coke and was like, fuck this shit i'm just going to save! then as i was waiting for the bus i decided to go into this vapid chickybitch store because the bus was ages away and well, kind of ended up buying this chickybitch ensemble;

hay gurl hay!

pretty sure i have lost all my alternative credibility. man, if my alternababe teen (edit: wasn't an alternababe. just goth) could see me now. also, totally losing all credibility as an authentic blogger. i can feel it.

anyway, getting back to being a vapid consuming whore. i purchased this necklace yesterday;

remind you of anything?

yeah, uh. i didn't realise til after i bought it. don't worry i don't have a fetish for human centipede related goods or anything.

anyway. i really want these shoes.

but it's like, they're $150. i'll probably wear them about 6 times. who knows i might love them but let's get practical here, probably won't wear them that much. so i'm thinking, a much cheaper, crappier pair from cotton on?

but they're nowhere as cool.

....

alright. i figure i should kill this entry before i start bitching about my period or comparing cocktail recipes or something.

cumstains

2010-11-18T00:46:00.000-08:00

i feel as though it's been way too long. stuff that's happened:

finished my coms/english degree.

now work fulltime in what i would call "working class chic" retail. lucky the peculiar customers keep me entertained which works well with my short attention span. actually i don't really talk to customers i just follow them around awkwardly and try to catch shoplifters. i feel as this is a really noble thing to do in retail. but also a really dangerous thing to do because apparently some shoplifters are evil and will not hesitate to stalk you and ruin your life once they're free from jail. no seriously i've heard this actually happens!

ugh. that's all

are you a female young messiah

2010-10-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

best complement i have ever received: "you look like such a goody two shoes but you do so much bad shit"

and do you want to know what solely destroys my life: guilt.

entries have gotten pretty shit and boring. but hey weren't they always? here is an awkward screenshot of an awkward chat roulette conversation.

we have the exact same facial expression! see, ebony and ivory really can live in perfect harmony!

edit: on second thought i'm pretty sure his facial expressions reads: "when is this old cracker hag going to stop talking to me" whilst mine reads "ohh a nubile teen, better make the most of this opportunity". go figure.

cramps

2010-10-10T14:12:00.001-07:00

cramps cramp my style and make me cry

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii is my hair on the bathroom floor iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2010-10-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

this is how i've been feeling and will continue to feel throughout this semester

wish i was better at paint. wish i was better at academic scholarship/time management so i could maintain a cool, calm and intellectual chic demeanor but thats probably asking too much.

crystallizing public animosity

2010-10-07T16:09:00.000-07:00

utilising tonsillitis antibiotics (CODEINE) to assist in optimum essay writing = genius.

on an entirely unrelated note, here are some good animal pictures:

and all i can think about is an total hodgepodge of these photos. like, the cat jumping over to a giant koi carp wrapped in a hot dog bun. dreams are free right

it's like rain on your wedding day

2010-10-04T17:52:00.000-07:00

some people have such nice/cool lives. i think my life is 90% made up of observing other peoples lives and not having much of a life of my own. pretty sure everybody i know has a really intriguing and fun aspect of their life. but maybe i just think too much. actually yeah i just think too much.

i am ending my media and communication/political science and english minoring degree with a bang by writing an essay on stealth conflicts in africa and then i'm going to write an essay on the journalistic values of gendered blogs. hell yes. pretty sad that i won't get to live the chill life of a canterbury undergrad anymore, it's pretty much the end of an era but it's okay because next year is going to be great. possibly/probably.

legitimate techniques for sadness

2010-09-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

so pretty much fucked myself over last month by proclaiming that my life is uneventful and i never get sick. then the quake happened and then i got sick not once, but twice. spent all day today in bed with the sun pouring in through the open windows whilst my boyfriend lay on the floor studying for his bar managers license (lol). i managed to keep a good eye on the neighborhood and for much of the day which may or may not make me a complete psychopath. i saw a cool teen furiously bike up his driveway then reappear 10 minutes later sans school uniform, smoking a cigarette, drinking a beer and holding hands with a "hot chick".

some people have it all. today i certainly did not.

2010

2010-09-21T17:04:00.000-07:00

what a waste of a year. i just figured out what i am going to do next year and i've never felt happier.

i just need to remember to be myself and not worry about scrutinizing assholes. yeah this blog sucks now. but really, hasn't it always?

my cat is 14 and might die soon. i don't know how to feel about this.

F U B

2010-09-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

i hate my hair

but thank god for pony-tails.

(more to the point holy shit how funny does my cat look. probably got too annoyed with me flicking my ponytail around. fair call)

a review reviewing a great person with a great blog so they can know how great they are and how great their blog is pt. 1

2010-09-15T18:47:00.000-07:00

i can't remember the first time i met ash mcdonald. but i know i have always liked her and been jealous of her creative exploits. one time in room 7 in 1996 she wore a headscarf and i remember thinking, 'wow. that is so cool'. it was pretty cool. trust me i had great taste when i was 8 (fact).

when i started fashion school in 2006 i was bummed out to discover that the majority of my classmates produced stuff that didn't really interest/excite me. but then in 2007 ash started and she made heaps of cool stuff. she made this super innovative and mesmerizing jacket which has heaps of domes.

she is super creative and comes up with a lot of cool ideas. her blog is filled with lots of real good photos. i especially like this plant in a tea-cup deal. i actually copied this idea (sorry hope you don't mind!) there is also heaps more nice fauna throughout her blog. fauna is always good.

she can also do real clever shit with scanners. just look at all those lovely trinkets.

nice photos and lovely original accounts of days activities flourish throughout this blog. it is a pleasure to read and certainly one of my favourites. so, if you like inspiring blogs that are written by nice clever people with really good taste, then by all means this is probably right up your alley;

~~synthetic sleepers~~

THE EVENT

2010-09-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

feel asleep that night in my clothes so luckily when i had to get up that morning at 4:36am i was ready for action. it's almost as if i was feeling a bit psychic after a few too many doobs and beers. only experienced minor damage. our chimney went all askew and crazy OH AND probably should mention the ridiculous amount of silt being all 'nm just chillin' on the lawn.

i think 2010 has been the most surreal year of my life. but this could just be because over the past year i have become so obsessed with shit that is 'surreal' and 'buzzy'. guess i'm pretty simple but hey, that's how i was raised

wheat your part out

2010-08-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

man i sure do know some complete fucking dickbag assholes. mind you, when other people are thinking about all the complete fucking dickbag assholes they know, i'm probably one of them. it's a win win situation really!

i had a really good day at work today. actually, any day where i have to work is a good day. sometimes i feel as though working in retail is the perfect way to avoid the troubles which 'real lyfe' throws at you. maybe i should just start live blogging my days at work.

9:48am - arrived early for work so sat around in the staff room for a bit experimenting with different nametag positions on my blouse

10:02am - served a customer

10:06am - went to the changing rooms and checked if a lady trying on a skirt needed a bigger/smaller size. she did, she wanted a 10. we were out of size 10.

10:12am - served a customer

10:30am - made a to-do list in my head

10:47am - re-folded some t-shirts

11:03am - answered the phone. put a pair of pants on hold for deidre of hornby whom "can't make it in today darling but i'll be in first thing tomorrow"

i think you get the picture. i think that i am on to something here because obviously the life of a retail assistant is meaningful business abundant with stories that the everyday blog reader will find challenging/informing/enlightening/heartwarming

sorry i cannot hear you i'm kind of busy

2010-08-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

last night me and my boyfriend went on a hot date to sequoia 88. it cost $27 each, we probably ate about $4 worth of food though. i tried to be all ~thoughtful~ and ~romantic~ (as if sequoia isn't romantic enough already!) and asked a guy with a mullet working behind the bar if they had birthday cakes. he was all "nah ... uhhh.. i dunno. go look at the desserts i think theres a pav??" which was retarded because i meant like, did they sell gateaus or something out back for special occasions such as your bfz birthday.

in the end, the best they could do was bring out 1 lamington with a candle in it. thanks sequoia, giving meaning to special occasions in the best way possible.

here is a good photo:

what a fucking mongrel.

funeral parking, $4 per half hour

2010-08-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

so i'm coming to the end of my degree and i'm not even proud of it because i basically got nothing out of it apart from refining my writing skills and i guess kind of learned to "think critically". apparently happiness stems from having structure and goals in your life. i understand that, i do. it doesn't seem that difficult. except i have no goals because i actually hate everything. last night i was thinking about how i have this really crap fake persona. but it's like, yeah? so what? if i let my 'true self' shine then i would probably be the worst person in the world since all i feel is contempt and rage. 24/7.

about 22 times a day i just want to say "YOU DON'T KNOW ME"

clearly i have issues.

(fyi am currently in one of those dark essay writing periods where you can't help but pick apart every facet of your life and get mad depressed. wait, does anybody else do this? i'm probably the only person stupid enough to give into it. yeah, well. okay)

"where you can afford to look good!"

2010-07-26T01:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really like my job and i get warm fuzzies about providing premium customer service to old ladies looking for the perfect winter white skivvy.

but most of the time i fucking hate it and fantasize about a light fitting falling down and decapitating me.

a to-do list:

2010-07-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

start playing canasta
stop drinking carbonated drinks and milky drinks
make a really crude zine type thing on a really crude computer program about famous dolphins in history dedicated to moko the dolphin

oh my gosh - usher

2010-07-07T04:01:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking a lot lately. like perhaps more than usual because i have had much more free time lately. today i was on the bus and had a real deep and meaningful life mentor type deep and meaningful with myself about getting motivated to face THE BIG THINGS IN LIFE like CAREERS and MONEY. i got all like "YEAH! working is so simple! just work heaps and suck up heaps and do things perfectly and have show loads of initiative and always look really busy when your boss walks past and constantly apply for better jobs until you're rich!!!!"

um, probably a lot easier said than done.

today i made some good purchases: a classy emersons 'india pale ale', a kit kat chunky and get this! a who magazine!

really making a difference to the world eh. well get a load of these snaps then

(figure i should let the blogging world know that i don't actually know these people. if only right)

last holidays i went to hokitika and stayed with nana. incredible decor + roar of the ocean + general good time west coast vibes made for the best sleep of all time.

the best birthday treats ever. oh and seeing a guy vomit at the casino, sorry but i wasn't quick enough to get a photo of that.

take that exams

2010-06-25T23:19:00.001-07:00

                     /"\
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            |   =[@]=   |   |  \
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            | ~   ~   ~   ~ |`   )
            |                   /
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                |--//''`\--|
                | (( +==)) |
                |--\_|_//--|

2010-06-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

i think that maybe my greatest talent is getting stressed and upset over the smallest things.

2010-06-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

too many horse trinkets in my room. i don't even like horses

baby betch

2010-06-07T03:11:00.000-07:00

two traits i have always had as evident in childhood photos:

i have always been a "hard case joker" (second from right btw)

and i have always been the first one to dig into the party snacks. don't hate me because i love free food y'all (actually i would probably use that as a reason to dislike somebody)

fffffffueeeego

2010-06-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

today was the coolest day ever because my mum bought me a pair of tights that are 200 denier. crazy shit right. then i bought a blazer that was $13 down from $190. CRAZY. wow i sound like a regular elle woods or something. right now i should be studying for my english exam which is going to involve studying the evils of consumerism. oh shit. yeah pretty buzzy content for an english exam huh. this has probably been the best semester of my life. i wish that next semester wasn't my last semester so i could just take more undergrad courses but sadly, no. next semester = all media and communication otheriwse i won't have a major to graduate with. oh fuck. ugh ugh i just want to take english and political science papers forever. i just want to read more cultural criticism relating to tourism and exotic otherness. oh and just want to read about terrorism/the united nations/human rights. well this entry is just turning into a running commentary of what i'm thinking about isn't it.

2010-06-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

today i woke up free of a hangover but made up for it by feeling all ohmygodiamsucharetardwhydoievergooutanddrinnkandtrytoconvincemyselfthatihaveadequetesocialskillsiamsuchanannoyingabrasivedrunkham

in which i have no future

2010-05-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

tomorrow i have a job interview. i'm not very good at job interviews because i don't really have a great deal of expertise/know-how/personality to bring to the table. however i figure i should try by preparing some answers for possible questions that might be asked.

what made you apply for this particular job?

well, try having $65 a week once you've paid rent. it's pretty gay because by the time it's friday you can't even buy a scoop of chips for dinner. you were the first job i saw advertised and since you've given me a job interview i figured i should rock on up and give you guys a go

what are the accomplishments / achievements that have given you the most satisfaction?

(long pause)

give us an example of how you have provided good customer service

at my old job this guy hit me and then yelled at me because i took too long to warm up his mince and cheese pie. i burst into tears and went and hid in the staff toilets for 45 minutes. when i finally got my face to stop being all puffy and red i went back into the kitchen and when i saw the mean customer was still there i went back to the staff toilets and cried for a further 45 minutes.

what do you do for fun?

mope. watch movies. eat my feelings. make fun of people. whine about petty shit to my boyfriend. you know, the usual ~girls just want to have fun~ deal :)

wish me luck guys!

ps: i think becoming a fan of a local real estate agent on facebook has been the best thing i've ever done. this guy is a comedy goldmine!

get it? why woodend('t) you?!? because it's in woodend and why wouldn't you want to live in woodend! CHORTLE CHORTLE

h8rs wanna h8 (h8rz!) and playerz wanna play (playerz!)

2010-05-20T19:04:00.000-07:00

bye bye 21. you were absolutely so fucking terrible but at the same time totally incredible/great age. i don't know what else to say except; fuck you.

♥ from me and my cats butt

ps: totally didn't force my cat into cat porn, i was just taking a nice finger pulling picture on photobooth and she just dived in and flashed her butt. i am not even kidding. okay i swear i'm going to stop using the word "butt". afterall, i am a mature 22 now.

marlon brando's laundromat

2010-05-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

this morning i am "getting real" and it just dawned on me : i use this blog as a bratty, self indulgent outlet for brattiness. time to come to terms with the fact that i am not 17 anymore, i'll be 22 next week. may or may not be having a complete mental breakdown about this. kind of am. and i feel even more shit about that because it's not as though 22 is even that old. it's still considerably young, like i'm pretty sure if i whinged about turning 22 to my parents they'll tell me to stfu. age just weirds me out. it weirds me out that i can remember being 3 years old, which doesn't even feel that long ago. but it was 19 years ago and in 19 years time i'll be 41. i guess i should listen to my father when he explains how one minute he was 20 then before he knew it he was 40. i guess when you are still young it's easy to just pretend like you don't care and act as though it might as well be 80 years until you're 40. but uh, guess not.

and i guess i should be working on this life of pi essay. i'm going to start it like this: "Yann Martel's novel, Life of Pi, entails an exorbitant scenario of a teenager and a Bengal tiger stranded together on the Pacific" terrible start. only 2480 words to go!

jellybones

2010-05-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

everybody at university has such nice jackets. meanwhile i am just frumping around in a parker my mum bought from glassons in 1993.

i don't look this cool:

i had some good porridge today. i added 3 feijoas and a lot of golden syrup and a lot of sugar and a lot of cinnamon. all it needed to take it to the next level was a bit of cream. ooooohhhhhhhhhhh

okay this is a terrible post. but can i close with this: girls who talk in baby voices are so weird. are their voices naturally like this? do they just do it to seem cute? somebody explain this to me.

monsoooooooooooooooooon

2010-05-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

i've made a serious to do list for tomorrow because i figure i should make my life at least a bit complicated/busy.

get up at 6:30am (won't happen, bet i will stay up til 1:30am GETTING RIPPED and watching movies)
go for a run (won't happen)
eat a powerful breakfast (will probably just drink a coffee then feel sick and go back to bed)
bike to university by 8:30am (won't happen, i'll end up driving to university at 2:30pm to make it to half of my pols lecture)
apply for 2 jobs (will probably just end up skimming over student job search, remember how shit my cv is then tell myself that i don't need money because buying stuff is only for "selfish, conspicuous consumerist dicks, blinded by capitalism who want to destroy the earth" etc.
make an essay plan for an essay due in a week (um, this certainly won't happen)
do pols readings (fuck no won't happen)
read a lot of english readings (might happen, but also might just watch movies instead)

well i'm off to a good start eh! you know i could easily be getting some of this reading done right now but all i'm doing is being super counter productive by predicting how i'm not going to do anything tomorrow. i would say fml, but i'm too lazy. oh shit too late.

i present to you a present

2010-05-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

every couple of years i'll go through this period in which i get really embarrassed/regretful over everything. i'll remember something real simple like a conversation and get embarrassed and irrational. i'll also relive real embarrassing shit and feel the shittest i've ever felt. i get super embarrassed about how i behaved in high school, like this time when i'd just turned 16 and went to my friend tanias house. her 22 year old boyfriend (outrageous right) bought us some alcohol and we got super super drunk then this creepy hagley adult student came round and we smoked weed with him out of this really tacky cone and ugh it was maybe the worst night of my life. luckilly i was home by 9:30pm because these christian girls we knew showed up and drove me home. probably a good move. yeah i get pretty embarassed looking back on that. i get prety embarassed about a lot of other things too, like outfits i thought were cute in 2008/09 and what i used to consider a conversation. oh theres so many more memories i am embarrassed about but don't really want to relive them, immortalise them 4eva on the internet. you can probably guess what they are anyway. oh oh anxious seedy bad guy demons get out of my anxious brain.

but today when i was walking around campus listening to not many THE REMIX by scribe + entourage i felt like the toughest motherfucker ever and that nobody could ever tell me otherwise. yeah, bitches.

maximum comfort

2010-04-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

apparently this is my 100th post. however, since about 70% of my entries remain drafts, theres not a huge array of turkish crystals back catalogue to read.

i just awoke from a peaceful slumber where i experienced some pretty odd dreams. i dreamed about A FRIEND who could just be A FRENEMY. he didn't do much though. we were in some sort of strange death camp together, there were a group of younger girls passing around funny mouth spray. i tried some then ended up in a weird death camp dense bunk bed kind of room and it was painted hot pink. then sitting in an armchair wrapped in a duvet. oh god what does it all mean! also had a dream about hot pink underwear. i fucking hate hot pink.

1 year and a half of a great night shirt

oh and i think i made a kind of sweet picture selection here because in one photo i'm at mums house and the other photo i'm at dads house. AW PARENTZ

you know, i really like winter. i really like it because it means i can go months without somebody reminding me how fair my skin is or say "ohh i bet you burn easy" as soon as i take my cardigan off. well, of course they're right, i'll probably die of skin cancer. BUT, its a painful reminder. at least in winter i can hide this pasty white gurl skin. thanks jeans, i mean, genes.

photos and 4 word long descriptions in sub-par english

2010-04-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

scary tunnel pitch dark

sexy shapeshifter ashburton dump

golden retriever cute puppies

sunglasses make great photos

more cute baby retrievers

car jewelry covers fug

new room = psychotic fireplace

hello handsome happy humphrey

mother in bowling whites

miss christmas, christmas desserts

one day, i will get my groove back. for now, however, i'll communicate via images. just jokes. this is the last time you'll ever see me pawn off some shitty images in favour of ~text~

maybe. these days, you see, i am very mysterious

sometimes i feel like i live in grand central station

2010-03-31T01:45:00.000-07:00

this term break i am dedicating my time to reading 5 books, watching every single episode of six feet under and seinfeld, trees, compulsive jogging and straight a's.

i guess you could say these are hard times, but wheteveesz.

questions:

1. how long would it take to write a new language?

2. why does one cat like cuddles but the other cat like solitude?

3. when will a bad episode of svu be made?

4. where can i buy the perfect table?

5. what's my maximum fudge intake?

pressing questions, one day i'll ponder more serious things. like what i learn about at university, but you know what. i really hate reality. i think i'd just rather go to my room and make the most of being a free agent/getting free money/vlc media playlists

i mean - fuck i love kittens;

2010-03-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

sometimes, everything gets too much. i have lost whatever knack it was i had for blogging. i could write something right now but the truth of the matter is i have mascara all over my hands.

guess why

whispering all sorts of things

2010-03-09T21:53:00.001-08:00

i did a creative writing assignment and the marker was not impressed. however there was this very thick, heavily pencilled tick beside a uh, ~lusty~ paragraph which had some thinly veiled references to sex.

um, feeling pretty awkward. hope i didn't inadvertently give some jerk a boner.

BUT! I'VE BEEN THINKING!

future career: erotic novelist?

DARLING! but now that i think about it, i think that tick was just for my clever use of metaphor. oh, right. of course it was. okay looks like its back to the drawing board re: future career!

in which i am a little bit ****** xo

2010-03-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

sometimes things are dreadfully hard and you get yourself into such a state that you'll cry because you're so frustrated theres nothing you can do about how you feel and you get jealous of the smallest things so easy and you miss people who you shouldn't miss because they're a 1/10 in terms of personality and you leave the house but just end up coming home straight away because people are just. so. fucking. shit.

thank god i don't know what its like to feel like that!

yeah rite lol/

fighting fire with fire

2010-01-24T14:35:00.000-08:00

i gave in for a moment

but i'm taking that back. you're like a dried up lake that has nothing to offer but sadness. that beautiful, delicate sparrow you lug around isn't too great either. she doesn't sing like all the other pretty sparrows do, but you make up for it in scowls.

i am not going back to that gloom tomb, now i live in a tower that has mattresses for walls and fresh air and freedom and friends and gold and something you don't know about. i hope your sparrow is happy in her cage. it's nice that you let her out now and again. but i guess i was more malleable and thats what is keeping you awake at night.

the moments gone. it didn't have to be like this - the sweaty breathy naked bodies rolling together haunting my dreams now haunt yours.

a warm fuzzy ... to you!

2010-01-08T16:02:00.000-08:00

this is the only photo i possibly have of my immediate family. my parents have awkward body language so i figure this photo was taken post break-up. i am wearing a little red riding hood costume because it had been dress up day at school. back in the 90's at my mums old house there were a lot of indoor plants, often i buried marbles in the soil. i did this for a variety of reasons, a) i was a little shit and b) i got bored easily. often i wonder what it would be like to have siblings and i can't even begin to imagine what it would be like. i try to but i can't, it would be too weird. my mum has 4 siblings but was meant to have a lot more i think. my dad has 2 full siblings and 3 half siblings. for all of those aunts and uncles however, i don't have THAT many cousins. well, i don't know.

i love you in a place where theres no space or time

2009-12-06T21:09:00.000-08:00

this entry is going to be sincere and happy and honest and positive.

i really like toast and i really like the colour violet and i really like my friends and i really like being unemployed and i really like blogging and i really like reading about human rights and i really like having showers and i really like rain and i really like driving and i really like spliffs and i really like patent leather and i really like baking and i really like milky alcohol drinks and i really like bob haircuts and i really like new columbine pantyhose and i really like my cheekbones and i really like fresh ironed shirts and i really like headbands with feathers and i really like walking and biking (but i barely do) and i really like my mum and i really like my bedroom atm and i really like my boyfriend and i really like my cats and i really like incense and i really like my duvet atm and i really like that i haven't dyed my hair in 4 months and i really like dogs noses because they are so cold and i really like fried toasties and i really like trying on perfume and i really like adding salt and garlic to my food and i really like that there are heaps more things "i really like" that a blog post could never really justify

peace out bbygurls

53

2009-10-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

writing about that one certain thing is a cop out. i hateeeeeeeee some things. but i like it when cats stand up on thier hind legs. i also like chocolate lamingtons with "lashings of whipped cream". sometimes i feel bad for thinking negatively all the time, but hey, maybe i am just more in touch with the world. like, only have time for the following things:

JSTOR
BF/PALS
DAIRY/DAIRIES
BITCHIN' GAMES LIKE SWEET VALLEY

IF ONLY YOU KNEW

2009-09-22T15:23:00.000-07:00

"well you stole my whole life, the least i can do is talk to your friends for 40 minutes"

have you ever taken a paper because the name sounded interesting? i think i just liked the whole idea of international relations but turns out its actually pretty boring/shit. but hey at least now i am a falklands war buff. incase you were wondering what happened on the last 2 days of that war, here is the scoop:

On the 13th of June, 1982, British forces launched a large scale artillery, naval and air attack on the Argentine forces. The Argentine's were overwhelmed by the British defenses, their artillery was destroyed and their communications were severely damaged. The following day, the Commander of the Argentine forces signed an instrument of surrender, which entailed that "all Argentine weapons and war equipment were to be handed over to the British forces and all Argentine personnel taken prisoner of war" (Goldblatt and Millan, 1983: 48).

Jesus. Gone are the days of walking into class and acting smug, saying things like "oh, you got a b? that sucks. yeah i didn't do too bad eh"

work hard and excercise your mind and body

2009-09-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

so i'm at the library and it's terrible. i don't know if this is a new trend or if these people are for real but wearing t-shirts for other colleges/universities? like SMITH and OXFORD (dream universitiez if i was smart D: ) there are 2 people within a 2 meter radius of me representing this hot look. i guess they could be exchange students but then why would they choose canterbury. sometimes i think too much about "elite" universities instead of actually doing work which could lead to an amazing transcript and u.s. womens liberal arts university admission.

~FANTASY~

anyway, whatsup. have you ever buried your hands in dirt? apparently - it doesn't hurt.

towers and bad figurines of creepy dogs

2009-09-01T23:43:00.000-07:00

It was dark and everything was cold and I spent so many nights sitting in my bed watching movies with the electric blanket on and incense burning. then you came into my life and switched a light on and i don't even need to have an electric blanket on anymore.

don't worry though, i'm still a complete asshole (didn't actually post that though, i am a suckerbitch baby)

corey feldman

2009-08-12T20:13:00.000-07:00

kind of like walking in the rain wearing a tracksuit and a big unflattering coat heading towards hagley park and you have a spliff in your pocket and you are listening to you ipod and this song comes on and it says "i was my parents vision" and you think to myself, "what would my parents think?" so you just change the song to something a bit more fitting to your unhealthy lifestyle: the streets. you figure that no matter how trashy and gross your life gets, just put on some mike skinner and you'll feel classy in comparison. you can feel classy even if you are sitting on a park bench wearing a tracksuit and a big unflattering coat smoking a spliff and just watching the traffic because it is "buzzy" and you feel too slothlike to move.

i think my hair got really wet that day regardless of the fact i had a hood/hat. it got worse, when i got home i ate a bowl of cereal and genuinely enjoyed the movie stepbrothers.

~a day in the lyfe~

crystals that are turkish who knows

2009-06-11T03:14:00.000-07:00

The first boy I ever kissed, I think I only kissed him because all my friends were pash sluts. I went to his house and he was all "do you want to go out with me" and I said "no, not really but you can kiss me if you want" and it was awkward and really retarded and so i went home. i'd forgotten my bus pass was expired so i had to take charity from an old woman at the bus stop.

sometimes i wish i could summon the emotional immaturity/playa attitude i had as a 15 year old. but mostly i just wish for that childs fare bus pass. $30 for unlimited travel over a whole month. what a dream.

wait til i get my hands on you

2009-05-14T06:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever made a doctors appointment even though you don't actually have anything you need to tell the doctor? I think I just did that and I don't think I'll have anything to tell her tomorrow at 12:15 except maybe "don't make me get a pap smear you don't have to worry trust me it's fine"
FUN FACT: My doctors last name is Gordon and she was born on the 21st of may too.

I guess I could say that things are a bit stressful at the moment. This whole year so far has been pretty average to say the least APART FROM leaving home and living in a nice house with nice gurlz and that's probably what is keeping me from having a complete mental breakdown. I've been way too sheltered in terms of ~the heart~ for too long and now trying to pick up the pieces/whateveridktryingtoredefinemyselfwithoutyou it's still really difficult and it's been 6 months so maybe I should just have like 5 new boyfriends because maybe I'm like you and need to be sleeping with somebody to be happy but you know what.

It's fine.

I'm okay.

Because sure I go to bed most nights feeling slightly miserable but as I'm going to sleep I think of how tomorrow is a new day and hey, you never know what could happen. You might just wear the ugliest outfit ever and just sit on your laptop in various campus cafes for hours eating citrus slices that taste like they have foam rubber mats as a substitute for citrus but, hey. It's okay. It always is.

He and Levin were great friends

2009-04-15T02:53:00.000-07:00

I had a dream about you and you wrote a blog about me and said that I had a militant haircut. It was a cool dream and I was disappointed to wake up. It wasn't cool that you thought I had a militant haircut though. I enrolled in this stupid creative writing class and I am meant to have written something really amazing by now but haven't even thought about ideas. Maybe I am just too scared to "get creative" and would just rather stop going to the class and get an E grade. That would be cool. Much cooler than getting "critiqued" by some tool that writes opera and poetry. What to do! Maybe I should just get really enthusiastic about yachting and gliding. Good, cheap hobbies.

LIFE TAKES OFF

2009-04-15T02:34:00.001-07:00

If I keep up this diet I am going to die alone.

QUOTES THAT MADE ME FEEL GOOD ON 21/02/2009

2009-02-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

"just don't tell her"

"when i was your age, my best friend and my boyfriend hooked up. they are married now and have 3 children. ha.. ha, funny the way things play out. a bit awkward huh"

"so, simone, what do you do?"

PEACH REALISATIONS

2009-02-06T20:22:00.000-08:00

You looked really nice and I thought about maybe shouting out your name from across the street and waving to you and saying hello and asking what you are doing now since it looked as though you were shutting up shop for the night. But I hate yelling and what if you already had plans?

Right now I am just trying to keep my priorities straight with a Paul Simon themed computer?

Should I just wear amazing Hawaiian dresses for the rest of my life?

GHOST BEACH

2009-02-05T03:06:00.000-08:00

YOU ARE MY NUMBER ONE, HIDING IN A CHINA CABINET

2009-02-01T18:35:00.001-08:00

Today I am unemployed and don't know how to deal with it. I slept until 11:48AM, which is pretty disgusting but I thought that at least this way I wouldn't have to worry about what I was going to do today. Half the day was already over. When I am unemployed I like knitting, should probably start soon so by the time it is winter I will have a really nice scarf.

You know you are not over somebody when you can't even stand to see them standing beside someone that isn't you. Even if they aren't talking and you know that even if they do start talking to each other it won't even be that interesting. um.

On saturday I biked in a headwind from Brynwyr to Woolston and it was probably the worst experience of my life. At one point I almost began to cry because my whole body was aching so much. Then my helmet started falling to pieces. So, not only was I in total pain but I was risking my life.

The day before that, Friday, I was on a plane and it was flying low over Christchurch and I could see into peoples gardens and I wondered if I jumped out of the plane would I happen to land on somebodies trampoline. totally possibly lifesaving but most likely impossible

The day before that, Thursday, I wanted to tell somebody they were probably the most beautiful and interesting person I had met all week but kindof couldn't because it would be awkward to the person I was with at the time.

One time it was my birthday and my cat left me a present in my shoe:

Suffice to say, haven't really ever worn those shoes since.

pros and cons, too many cons

2008-12-17T00:52:00.000-08:00

I've read over this blog and I've looked at all my old posts where I would drop super subtle hints over the one thing that I wanted the most. Now all of that is gone (forever) and well, I guess I should be glad because it was a bit GR8 GATSBY~ esque. I guess all I can do now is just cry in Antonios (probably the most meaningful thing I have done all year) and listen to Graceland. Wow, what an album. Paul Simon totally "gets it".

"And she said losing love, is like a window in your heart, everybody sees you're blown apart, everybody sees the wind blow"

Yeah um, am I getting too serious for this blog? This whole situation is something a cute photobooth picture with my cat can't fix. Lets face it, i always just threw that shit in my blog to distract myself from getting 2REAL.

Although it is really sweet and cute :(

Wish I could just go rowing with Daniel Rossen every morning. Not even worry about lifejackets because love would keep us afloat or something.

I wonder what him and his girlfriend talk about when they hit the lake. Paul Simon covers? Being young, Jewish and beautiful? I bet they have total deep and meaningfuls but still take time to have a little laugh and playfully touch each others arms. Romantic.

I wonder if you will ever read this? Wonder how many times you'll cringe

a day in the life of a total mess

2008-11-09T18:27:00.000-08:00

Did a lot today. By a lot I actually mean not very much at all but there was plenty of magic, let me assure of that.

First of all, I just stared up at the sky for a bit and tried to make shapes out of them but none of it really turned out except for this cloud that sorta looks like a mature tamagotchi. You know, when you get it to the stage where its having kids and eating a whole lot (until you leave it under your car seat and forget about it then wonder what happened and get really depressed because you know its starving)

What else did I do? Well, i wore this ridiculous outfit and didn't straighten my hair, so pretty much, I have been the hottest babe in Woolston all day.

Can't believe I'm even leaking that shit to the internet :/

Anyway, my dad bought me this real sweet bike. It's a pretty serious bike so I went for this really serious bike ride (I wasn't serious enough to wear full lycra though, probably would have made things heaps easier though). So I just rode and rode for ages. Here is the route that I took!

Eventually I ended up in this total grey area and there were signs pointing to really safe suburbs like Bromley and Aranui. It was confusing and it seemed like I was pretty much in the middle of nowhere:

That creepy red bus wasn't helping at all either, not at all okay. In the end I just took the high road to Bromley. Now that it is summer I should probably get a summer job, is this sign a sign?

Would I be painting ol' "we'll make her seaworthy again" rusty?

Yeah thats right i was totes taking a photo from behind a chainlink fence. I kinda felt like Belle in recent episodes of Home and Away, uncovering conspiracies and shit. What kind of conspiracies could go down at a humble boat painting business in Bromley? Poorly flushing boat toilets? (OH WAIT THAT HAPPENS ON ALL BOATS, SO AWKWARD) Fixing up holes in hulls with playdough and gib board? Salt in petrol tanks? Faulty GPS navigation systems? I could totes go undercover at this place and become a hero when I foil all their devious hijinks. I would be a maritime hero.

Or perhaps I could just sit at home and admire the colour combination of my sheets and duvet?

Pretty damn beautiful and magic and amazing right?

Totally comforting too.

Finally, also really really need to delete people off facebook who post this kind of shit:

What a ~sisters are doing it for themselves~ type of sister.

eating whalemeat - delicious?

2008-10-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

Eskil: [says thank-you to the waitress in dutch]
Margaret: “I don’t think I can eat this”
Eskil: “try it, come on, just one tiny little bite okay. Do it for me”
Margaret: “Why would I? I’ve only known you for a few hours”
Eskil: “feels like a lifetime”

How romantic. Could I properly pull off writing a romance film script involving whalemeat and a horrific plane crash?

Should I be more of a car skank? I gave it a go and it is quite easy

holla at me for a cruize sometime.

gatsbygatsbygatsbygatsby

2008-10-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

OH GOD THE CLOCK IS TICKING YA'LL

I thought by wearing a green american appy hoody it would help me describe the green light in the great gatsby real deep BUT SO FAR this has not sufficed. Hopefully the marker writes on my essay; "you are my green light, beautiful in that american apparel hoody but your essay has no substance!"

MAN I AM A DICK

2008-09-30T00:59:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I just had the worst day

w.f.y.a.d.i.t.m.l.

worlds away, drowning in a volcano

2008-09-23T02:02:00.000-07:00

I think that will be the first and last postcard I'll ever get from Greenland. So, it is pretty special. A postcard from France = still pretty special but not as special as one from the Arctic Circle, sprinkled with all that icy magic.

This is the book dreams are made of. I mean, sure, I haven't actually read it yet, but with a cover like that it has got to be amazing, right? Maybe I'll read it when that hadron collider thing gets fired back up. Then the magic will truly begin.

feather fever

2008-09-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

Today I:

Had an earl grey but didn't let the teabag "soak" for long enough, so it wasn't really that great
Forgot to say thank-you, now I can't stop thinking about it
Started to like linguistics again
Got awkward
Took a homemade riceball for lunch but it wasn't really good and i threw it out. Heartbreaking.
Wished I was MULTILINGUAL (omg i had monolingual here for days, i am such a fool), or at least bi-lingual
Missed somebody, even though I kind of hate her
Acted creepy, twice
Sat in my car and tried to think of ways to better myself but I don't know where to start
Thought about ringing up my nana, but I am so bad at talking on the phone
Got jealous, really jealous
Listened to some girls talking, I thought they were talking about whether they favored McCain or Obama but they were actually discussing their favorite ice cream flavors.
Realized that writing blog entries isn't really that therapeutic. Help? :(

another saturday night with my cat/still have a little bit of hope

2008-09-20T02:28:00.001-07:00

Is this my life? I just watched a really bad, non Garden State, Zach Braff movie. I have kind of lost the will to live after seeing Zach Braff ~getting some action~. OH MY GOD NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN :(:(

Am i retarded for putting cryptic messages in my blogs? what would you do? Not be so cryptic? Stop watching Zach Braff movies? Wear more pairs of jandals bought from the ezibuy spring 1999 catalog?

kewt times in the ghetto

2008-09-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

Should I try and make the most of living in one of the worst suburbs in Christchurch? Sure, some say it is a lost cause, some politicians get caught labeling it "shit country" but sheesh, there has got to be something good about it, right?

Could it be the stunning, Italian villa esque architecture? Sometimes I feel like I am holidaying in Tuscany! Why spend millions on an Italian villa when you can get your own slice of paradise right here in Woolston for under $200,000. Ridiculously undervalued, don't you think?

Could it be the amazing cars cruising the streets? Statistics tell us that Woolston is home to low house prices and very low household incomes. You wouldn't know from these photos would you? People take such pride in their state of the art, fresh off the lot vehicles, have you ever seen 2 cars in such excellent condition? The owners were just that concerned about the welfare of their vehicles that they parked them up on the footpath. That's the kind of attitude that THRIVES in this community!

Could it be the hot babes and bitches? (OH ~~OOPZ~~ HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE ;)

Could it be the thriving local art scene? A lot of graffiti can be seen as defacing, disgusting and generally really bring down the quality of a neighborhood. However, this clever little "tag" is creative, innovative and makes you respect the "artist" as a truly gifted master of their craft. If only we could decipher this mysterious MC character, perhaps M.C. stands for "mr crafty"? "mr cool"? "more (to) come"?? Oh i hope so!

Could it be the crystal clear, fresh waters of the Heathcote river? This beautiful, clean river is a serene piece of local beauty. When the weather is cold, people gather on the banks to paint watercolour pictures of the local wildlife that thrives in such an enviroment. In the summer, locals strip off thier clothes and take a dip, children rush down to the banks at the crack of dawn with thier lilos and canoes. People in Woolston save a lot of money in summer, nobody has to waste money on petrol driving to the beach, why would you need to when the cool, fresh waters of the heathcote river is merely seconds away!

.....

I AM GOING TO LIVE IN WOOLSTON FOREVER

Love, Simone

the wind beneath my wings

2008-08-30T04:22:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to make this blog less cheesy and girly but AHH I just love my cat so much. One time she disappeared for 10 days and it was the worst. Isn't she handsome? Reckon I could get her cloned so her legacy can live on forever?

Am I wasting my best years by being home on saturday nights, messing around on photo booth with my cat and posting weird blogs that nobody will ever read?

answer: not at all.

i am crying in the deli isle

2008-08-30T00:13:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming of the perfect part time job, one where I can come and go as I please and the people are great and the pay is amazing etc. In some ways, this dream has come true, I have a job where I can pretty much name my hours and the pay isn't all that bad. But, there is one issue. About 90% of my co-workers are GODAWFUL. The other day I went into the ~cafeteria~ to get some water, it was 8AM and one of my babelicious co-workers was sitting there, looking sad, singing along to alanis morrisette on the radio. It was possibly the most amazing moment of my life, also, totally surreal. I just had to draw it!

She is so much more beautiful in real life, the drawing just doesn't do her justice. Also, I feel sorry for anybody reading this because you will never get to hear her beautiful singing voice! woah, maybe i should record it? it sure is something, someday, somebody will make a lot of money from this ~songstress~